OP: Nautilus - Captain Butterpants and the Magical Sack

"Sail like you've never sailed before! No wait. Sail like you've sailed for years and you're really good at it!" "I'd like to see what "sailing like fuck" looks like." "You're about to witness it!" The marines hoist up alternating red and blue flags and a guy in the crow's nest shouting whoooowhoo. Hot Cross Pirates. Captain Butterpants, Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemimah, and Land o' Lakes. "We lost another cannon over the side. How does this keep happening? On an unrelated note, we found a sunken ship! And it had a giant cannon on board that only needs minor repair!" The marines pass us as though we're standing still. The giant fish fly up on the marine deck cut long way from head to tail. Guy climbs the outside of the boat with a sword and glares. Casually sailing! We're shma away. Vince has made a thing and he doesn't think it will fix the paralysis. It's atomic red. Ash is going to take one for the team. Good news! It's a suppository! You're really gonna want to touch your toes for this one. The rest boiled off in the oven. It locks in the juices! He dry heaves and it burns. The frogs are here and they've brought their horns. It's time to start the play. You remember the words! He runs to the bow of the ship on the rail and sings loudly. Abigail fails to stop him. Your female lead has arrived! Begin the dance number! Swinging Abigail over the rail. "None of that!" Jigen grabs Abigail from him. The villain doth approach! But first you must deliver your speech in italian! He draws his air sword. The marines have our undivided attention. Abigail summons Big Tony. Ash demands Jigen draw his weapon. A mop. Now the well choreographed fight scene! Cody is in the fetal position about to wet himself. The spotlight was in his eyes and he's bopped. Teila ties off the wheel and goes to put on a skirt. Tony is a stagehand that has wandered on stage! Improv that he's the villain's henchmen. He grabs him thusly! Ash removes his captain's cape with a flourish. Roll your christ. He has a quick flash of himself on a boat in his underwear, but it fades. Vince suddenly "When did the marines get here?!" Clad only in his underoos, Captain Butterpants saves the play! Jigen finally knocks him out. "Tada!" A big wave and the sword guy lands on deck in front of Jigen. Sword guys shakes Ash. "Am I seeing the world for what it is?" "Well the sun is purple, but you're on a boat." This is our floor show. We're putting on a show at the marine banquet. Isn't that right, Captain! There! Take it! Run with it! "We have to work on the set design. C'mon." Jigen drags Teila below deck. "What's the name of your group?" "Hot Cross Players!" Make it real! I will now follow you to the ends of the earth. Captain Nicholai Alister will give us an escort. Cody can't breathe. "He's Big Tony. He comes from the magical land that lives in my sack." "Does she drown?" "We haven't tried." "What? I wasn't paying attention." IRON CHEF! "We were going to get away!" "We don't know that." "We were going to get away!" Vince turns into a pile of rope. We explain to Benigan and he goes from excited to horrified. And now we're making dinner for them. "I don't have any dress clothes." "I don't have legs!" "This is a really good idea you guys. I feel really good about this." "For the love of god, put on some pants." Bell's gonna write us a screen play about ponies! Iron Chef complete! The secret ingredient was GOD. The rope pile has scrunched itself into a knot. "Vince, I need you to pull yourself together." Aaaaaah! Suddenly Jigen and Teila fall overboard and die. Which is really impressive for Teila. She hit a rock. Ash explains to Vince. "That's fantastic. I'm just gonna go now." One leg over the side. "Vince, I want to remind you that you can't swim now." "I know! Well now I have options now!" Vince makes a noose. A rowboat with two marines and a very attractive woman in black with a huge bag. Ash is a gentleman! Nope, he's Captain Butterpants! He slides right in. DX Melody. She brought us some food. We're robbing the military, one kitchen at a time! Melody is distracted by the jakis. Abigail is going to figure out how to make this fish! It's all bones and poison sacs! She leaves with a jaki. Ash shows her around. We've been together 4 months. The admiral might be there! "Why do actors need canons?" "Percussion." Teila combines several stories into one. "How will we make a sun?" "There's paint... I have paint." Cake and Cody show up outside the kitchen door. "Cake! Belt!" Cody has thumbs. Ash comes to check on the playwrights. Teila sits on the floor surrounded by books, covered in ink, reading things to Benigan and Bell. "So I've got some worrying news." "Get out." "Let me put this into perspective for you. There are three of them in the world. In the wooooorld." "How's the play?" "You're gonna sing a song about how dumb and stupid the hero is!" Abigail will loan Teila some dress clothes. Ash tries to get Cody to clean up. "That's your fault, Skinny." A little bit more of pants. Watercolor: Everyone on deck dressed as nicely as they can waiting for the rowboat filled with marines.

A marine saves a princess from a bear and then pirates steal the princess and there's a sword fight, but the marine saved her and sails away into the sky to neverland and the pirates fly too close to the sun.