OP: Nautilus - Marine Island Finale

Ash grabs a large heavy object and/or trunk of clothes from Abigail's room. Jerald comforts Abba? There is a sickening crunching noise of a cat screeching in pain and wood panels of the ceiling are slashed open leaving a 8' gash. Cody, Benigan, and Teila charge on deck, Teila managing to convince Vince to help set the sails! While the rest of the crew falters on what to do and why the kitty yelled. Cody is sent flying off to one side. Benigan backflips on deck. Another cat and wood scream and Teila are angryface. Jerald takes a bite out of the wall. TEILA ARE ANGRYFACE! Ash finds Naut thrashing around and bloody and tries to hold him down so Abigail can load the cannons. Surprisingly few marines are on deck, though what's his pie with the sword and the wife beater is there, Nicholai, right. Jerald is kicked in the ribs and cries uncontrollably. And just as Teila's about to do anything, webcams decide to be retarded. A voice shouts "Where are you, you mother fucker?" and all the shouting goes stunned for a moment. And Kristy doesn't know who it is because she can't hear Lindsey over Josh. Ah it's Melody. Teila lets go of Vince who is struggling to get away. Benigan is hit by Nicholai. Abigail and Ash fire the cannons all at once upon the adjacent boats. Smoke an shrapnel of the other ships rains down from the sky. Half the crew is in a state of confusion. Nicholai kidney punches Cody. Ash's holding his breath for some reason? The ship is hit by canon fire. Abba is thrown to the side, some others are tossed about the deck. Teila stealths around a bit and starts setting the sails. Jerald climbs a wall. Teila spots a pile of ropes scooting towards her on the mast. Naut comes bursting through floor below Abba, roaring, clawing, and bleeding. Abba rides him barely with one hand! Teila can now see Nicholai has carved an N in the deck. Melody is shouting "Where are you where are you?" leaving craters in the deck. Benigan is laying in pool of his own blood. Cody's on one knee holding the back of his head. Abba is riding Naut who isn't looking so hot and swiping at anything he gets close to and Jerald just looks confused. Abba tries pointing Naut towards the marines and becomes aware of how busted up the cat is. Ash heads to the deck now that the cannons have been fired. Cody is beating Nicholai upside the head! Vince says he can handle the sails from here so Teila, still in camo, drops herself onto the marine fighting Benigan. Bullets still fly. Vince manages to finish the sails by using himself to hold them. Naut swipes at Melody, but she bats him away, Abba leaps at her instead and phases through the deck in front of Ash. He tries to pull Nicholai down, and they fall through the gash (making it bigger) and on the way down, Cody kicks him in the face. Teila sees the sails are properly in place, but Vince has been shot and falls to the deck. Abba and Melody continue falling and tries to leave her stuck in the boat. Benigan takes a shot at the guy Teila is holding and she paralyzes him. Dover walks on deck. Melody flexes and the boat around her shatters. "But she has boat stuck in her." "Are you gonna tell her that?" "I'm going to run." Naut swipes at Jerald who tries to intimidate him, against his better judgment and the DM's advice. Abba runs. Cody swings at Dover and he dodges, Teila attacks him. Naut collapses as wood splinters downstairs. Benigan attacks the shooter and it does not work out so well for him. Ash shoes Nicholai his pair. "Is there time for that in the middle of combat?" Dover is dancing around our friends like he's getting paid to do it. Cody is forced to leap full body out of the way. Teila manages to flailstab him some more though. "Kitty is dead." "Does Kristy know this?" "I'm already drawing a picture of Teila crying." Melody comes up the stairs and Abba continues running until he's on deck. Ash manages to kick Nicholai's butt a little bit. Teila attacks the fuck out of Dover until he's dead and dead, slicing right across his throat. Jerald wants to just smile and walk past Melody, but once again his survival sense tells him he should do otherwise. He instead uses the porcupine fruit guy he consumed earlier to roll towards her Sonic style until he is stopped by two hands. Vince is doing a phenominal job stabalizing himself. Benigan waits his turn. Abba has jumped in a barrel. The boat is now moving slowly away from port with fire and dead marines and confusion on either side. Teila moves to steer the ship and tells Cody to kill the paralyzed guy. Cody walks over and leaves only a red mist as Teila begins sailing like a bat out of hell. Abba has put more wood in Melody than Ash ever will. Ash will charge her crotch first! He headbutts her as he realizes she is berserking and sends her back down the stairs. Ash goes to attack her and botches, missing the stairs and falls facefirst into boobs. Jerald goes rolling downstairs blindly and into water. Knee deep. He makes his way uptop, Ash shouts to let Teila know we're taking on water. All the marines are down. "Water water water!" "How many life rafts do we have?" "Somewhere between zero and one." "Oh no someone take the wheel!" Teila manages to temporarily repair the whole in the bottom, stabbing any marines she finds a few times to make sure they're dead. The docks and several boats are on fire and it seems as though no one is following us. Naut is still breathing, though Teila will cry about it. Several days go by. Naut gets better the more repairs Teila does. Ash chains Melody up and guards her himself. "Teila better have an order not to go near her or bitch gonna wind up dead." Wanted posters found. Jigen: 60mil, Ashe: 185mil, Teila: 74mil (4mil more than a slave YES), Abbarant D Blackburn Jr 5mil, Cody 100mil, Vince 20mil, Ben 12mil, Abigail 20mil. And they sail off for adventure.

FINAL GAME

OP: Nautilus - Mis-diiii-rection!

Running continues! We go careening through the streets shoving old ladies aside. Vince is cautiously optimistic! FUCK! Teila grabs the others to stop them. "But why? We were escaping!" "But I thought we did a good show?" "Unfortunately it's what came before the show that's the problem." And Vince has pissed himself. Girls can be sodomized. "I don't think there's room for plan." "Nope. Let's walk." And we saunter towards the ship. A man approaches us, doing a double take from his papers to us. "The costumes are uncanny, aren't they?" Captain Butterpants would like to get to the boat which is surrounded by marines. "This boat?" *pulls a gun* "No.. uh.. the one past it. The other one. That's not this one." No one can leave the harbor right now. But we need to return some things? Make sure you take the safety off the Teila. We walk to the other boat and find a confused teenager. "Do you have the captain's permission to be here? I know you don't!" "But I said yes!" Ash looks for his permission slip and Cody hugs the boy's neck like they are friends! "I am a bear these are the lines I was meant to read!" We look for other people on board. Abba can find no one in this room. We continue looking. And walk into a room of four guys playing pool. We're the inspectors! "They're using misdirection on ya captain!" "Misdirection!" We follow the screaming to find two people hung by nooses, Cody standing on a man in a suit. Vince manned up and killed someone! They took him by surprise. Abba has a suspicion that maybe we're not actors. Five armed marines are on deck. Misdirection is a fairly intense game of cards. Ash can't find the papers, but hands the marines something with legalese and a big font. Oh thank god. Ash claims Cody is a stow away while Teila sneaks into the room and starts paralyzing people. She manages two slumped over the pool table before combat begins. Ash tries to pull the first man's dagger and fails. Jerald chomps down on the man next to him as Teila paralyzes the one remaining. But now there is something increasingly stabby inside Jerald's mouth. Cody twists one of the paralyzed guy's head backwards. Teila stabs the half-paralyzed man swinging an axe at her until he's not moving anymore. Abba shoves a man to death. Jerald finally manages to eat the man in his mouth. Ash ties a rope around all the devil fruit users. Time for an exit. Cody fails to punch a hole in the boat as we hear voices coming for us, but he succeeds the second time. And we swim dragging the devil fruits into the ocean! Teila arrives at the boat first, makes a hole, everyone is helped inside and Teila repairs the hole while everyone tries to shut Abba up. From several boats away there is shouting, oh my god what happened to these people where's that guy? Abba "I need a towel." Abigail will make him a cake. "How fast can we get this ship moving?" "We're about to find out." Jakis load all the cannons and the rest of us ready to set sail. There are no big penisis, only small vaginas. Watercolor: we wait at the stairs to charge on deck as marines are approaching the boat.

OP: Nautilus - The lights have gone down and we're all gonna die.

Opens at 11, starts at noon, play's at 5. Jerald is SURE he's got this down. We invent the internet and gamefaps.. gamefags.. gamefaqs and save our game multiple times. Abigail will roll for our last breakfast. Go go jaki breakfast! It's a crit! Now we can die happy. If we screw up on stage, we will be shot. Into the sun. And then they'll explode the sun while we're on it. Genticles! Teila goes over a checklist of things to pack and we somberly death march to the gates of hell. Nancy meets us. Tables, one long table in the back, Teila vomits in her mouth a little, butleries setting up the area. Melody begins changing immediately, the other two captains are there with the man who was keeping Abba's meat company. Set jakis on fire to be the lights. We have drums instead of canons because it would be dangerous. Ash notices the captains have wanted posters. We test the pulley system and Cody pulls Vince flying Abigail into the rafters. Teila closes the curtains quickly. "Okay then drop her and good luck to you." Door to back right goes to hall with a right that leads to outside, another door leads to kitchen, and a white ladder that leads up to a covering. Trap doors. During the performance, Teila will paralyze everyone, cut their legs, and they will bleed out during the show."How dark is it in the main room?" "Darker with Teila around!" Common Sense, Fucking Common Sense, and Use Your Brain, Dickwad. Ash pretends to get more pulleys and tries the locked door which leads to Meat Company telling Nicholai to follow Ash onto the boat where he looks into rooms. "What was the word?" "Ah. We're all going to die." I'm done delaying the inedible. Vince climbs the ladder and finds another locked door. And we mass suicide on the stage. Cody "Melody? I'm gonna rape you now." Punch! And the mexican hat dance. Melody is going to improv a fight scene because improv is the blood of theater. And it will run red in the streets. "Hurray! I'm 9!" "What's a pirate's favorite element?" "Arrrrgon." "No it's gold you fool!" Act 1: the princess in a forest, the bear attacks, the marine saves her, the pirates make a plan to kidnap the princess and do. "These are the lines I memorized. I'm a bear." Melody punches Cody in the stomach and Cody punches Melody. Mexican hat dance. The bunny meeps. "Now's when you faint! Faint please!" Melody thumbs up and continues. Cody punches her in the face and breaks her mask. "I have won because I am a bear." Ash sings beautifully! Oh thank god. Now fight the bear. Cody bodycheck bearhugs Ash. "Stage combat." "Oh right!" "Coooody... remember this is a staaaaage fight. Don't hit me so haaaaard." Swing the stord. Melody makes up a song and leaps into Ash's arms. "Pirate pirate pirate pirate." Abigail's a captain and has seen the bear's plight and gives him a hat and they will go get the princess! Jerald is left on stage, stares out into the audience, and tells a horrible joke. Act 2: the marine is sad that the princess is kidnapped, he will save her, fight scene, and they escape. Akainu cries molten lava killing the entire audience before it gets to the stage. The only way to go. Some of the audience is crying at Ash's song. Akainu hasn't moved. "Maybe he is dead." Teila and Vince change the stage from forest to pirate boat. Evil pirate song! "I'm going to make her try on all my clothes!" "And then we'll steal a baby." "And then we'll rape her!" Meldoy sings a song about how she'll die and never be saved. More crying! Ash chimes in. "They're going to rape me!" "No they won't!" And fight scene! Benigan does a double backflip and accidentally Ash gets hit by him. He is defeated! Holes in the sails. Abba flails at Ash who is confused, but wins. Part of the railing falls onto the stage. Jerald tells a joke, it's actually funny! Cody is gonna hitcha, Ash tries to sidestep, but is knocked over. "Cody, stage fight." "Oh fuck.. hit me." The mast breaks. "... no one lives forever." Jerald charges and Ash gets sword in the face. There can only be one! Who wants to liiive foreveeeer? I am everything! Jerald is tripped onto his back has a funny last line "Next time, baby!" "You've beaten my jester, you've beaten my midget, you've beaten my bear, but now you face me!" The sky turns ominous! They banter epically! Take it to the armpit like a pro! The I have freed you song gains an extra verse as Ash tries to untie Melody. They sing and go off stage. "Song about how he sucks!" "You're a dick! Suck my cock! Eat my ass!" "You've got butter in your pants and butter in your head. You're so stupid. You will soon be dead." Act 3: The marine and princess sing about love and sail away in their magical flying ship and the pirate captain having lost everything follows them with wings, but fails. He takes her back to the forest and she sings her finale song about how happy everyone is. Epic love song. I'm gonna get you song. The marine ship magically flies. Abigail puts on her wings and is jerked around worse than before. The sun is there! The marine is horrified! The wings are melting! Abigail falls into the jakis and is fine. The flying boat lands and epic love song reprised. Ash will make the wedding preparations! And Melody's solo. The room is on the edge of their seats. Infront the stage are Nicholai, Mask, and Meat Company standing in a row. There's a weak wall backstage. "What happened? What did you do? We're gonna die!" "Just go back stage just go back stage." Teila cuts a hole in the wall. Hallway goes both ways. "You can't run." "No I can't." Abba sticks his head through a wall and surprises a man in white who pushes up the sleep blinders on his head. "Now where did you come from?" "You're dreeeeeaming... ooooh." We go left. Half the crew is winded by the fear. "Just rip the suit man we don't need it!" Abba sticks his head in and it's a kitchen, but the lights are off. "How strong people do we have?" "Cody." Doors lead to a hall and a dark storage room. Hallway. In theory, if we hang a right, we'll get back to the exterior. People are getting winded. Large door with metal brace. Two guards. Cody lifts the brace and Ash swings open the doors. "You run I'll look!" The guards are squished into the wall. One guy swings his sword and the jakis are blown away or cut down. We're running! Teila steers Ash towards the water. Watercolor: everyone mid run

Fading Suns - Finale: If Firefly had an emperor and everyone was a dick, this would be it.

Spiffilis. Does a skull imply yes naked friday or no naked friday? "That's why I sit on a towel." "I'm not the only girl!" "You never were." "The only real girl." "That hurts, Fal." "And technically you're not a real girl either." Jim is afraid of catching alien diseases from vorox. All girl naked music were declared. Rock out with your cock out. Literally. "Cooper, there's naked ladies on staaaage." "R.. really? You're not lying?" "Not this time." It's Green Spacey's first Naked Friday! And Cooper was coerced out of his room! Mark this day! Mantis Tears oh boy! Cooper wakes up on the stage with the main singer and the drummer. Illiad wakes up in the captain's chair with the bassist and his chair is slippery. Ren wakes up in her room with the guitarist after a different night. "If I can still succeed at different, then yay me!" Fal wakes up covered in engine grease and Ao is there. "Yes. I leveled up!" "Waking up's an important thing for my character!" Jim whines about cleaning us up. "I should probably take stock of what you have on board." "You should 'cause I gotta tell ya, a lot of it goes into my body." "Are you okay?" "Why? You wanna come in?" "I think you already did." "Ohhhhhh!" *down the hall* "Ohhhhh!" "Also yes." "Get back in the shower. I have no idea where I've been." "Where have I gone wrong? Or is this the right path? I don't know anymore." "Get off the stage!" Fal hears a beep. "Boop." "Everybody buckle in." "I'm the only one here." Buckable. Spuckable. Twinklestar says go! Illiad and Fal are vacuumed formed to their chairs. And before us is the space that Illiad was asked never to return to. There's debris in our area. An emergency buoy to the right of the gate. Ship name the Sky Wolf. Decados ship for border patrol and high dignitary escort. "There's so many ways to die in space." "Drug overdose is one of them." "Did you know that's the second highest cause of death in my family." "I readily believe that. Is rectal trauma first?" "I'm no man's spicken." "I don't trust gravity." "Considering it's not here." Illiad tethers Cooper like a balloon. Dead bodies. And statues hunched over. They're metallic. "I don''t like this assumption." "Me either." "What's your tech level?" "Tech level superstitious." "I am a magician!" hand scanner "Aww I'm not that kind of magici- there's people here!" "Cooper, I'm gonna toss you to the dead guys!" "Magician." "I'd come see your dead guy show." "I appreciate that, Illiad." Sometimes it just hits me that our characters are a bunch of dicks. "You guys in?" "That's what she said." Seems flooded with water. There is still power. If Firefly had an emperor and everyone was a dick, this would be it. "C'mon in the water's fine!" I'm not pro-crocodile. Bloated bodies. "Look at it!" "No! Stop trying to make me look at the dead guy. Ew." "It's gone. I lied!" A gannok with a gun! "The last one set off the reactor!" "I don't know what a reactor is." "It's true! He doesn't!" "I'll shoot one of them. Fuck! You look just like the guy!" "Aaaaaah! You have to let us kill him! This is important!" "Mistress, these guys are confusing me." It's great-great-grammy Decados. Illiad picks up the monkey and points him at the old lady. Did you just cock the monkey? Illiad throws a cocked monkey at his grandma. Aaaand Mikell's on the Spacey. Jim's out, Ao's locked up, and he's taking Fal to his ship. Gold Star! The Anti-Shat. Mikell doesn't get on the ship yet! Yaaaaaay! "How far could he have gone in half an hour?" Radar scan boop! "Does he have a Romulan cloaking device?" Illiad and granny shout. "Get your finger off the trigger." "Nana, you taught me better than that." "You guys should check behind you." "Nah, he's flashier than that. Hey Fal? Scan the ship again." Someone tried to pick a lock. Crap. Two heat signatures. One is here, the other is Spacey. Back to the airlock and the statues are pulling guns on us. I knew I didn't like that assumption. FUSION! guns. "What'd ya get?" "19. I'm going to die now." "Alright. I'll be there in a minute." "Do I not have a self sealing space suit?" Not Squeezy! Aaaan Ilaaa! Emm shoogaaah. The ship's turrets are introduced to the fight. Cooper turns one into dust and splodes it. Jim "not a gunner" kills one! "Oh right. Dickhead's still over there!" "I forgot about Dickhead." Illiad hit the ship and blew a hole in Ao and his quarters. After the robots, Ao welds the hole. We still can't see Mikell, so we go planet side. Ren gets a bandaid and then goes and makes tea for he nice lady. "You're my favorite person, Jim." "Just don't make me get naked." "No promises." "'Cause you know how Illiad shows his affection." "By rubbing his penis on your penis." "Mikell, I'm pregnant." "That's news to me." "Because I don't have a penis." "I'm tempted to try and destroy the gate." "Um.. don't." "I had sex last night." "Good for you. Raise your hand if you didn't get laid last night." Jim raises hand. "Called it!" "Ha! Sorry Jim." "Hey guys! Remember me? I don't care! Fix that!" MONTAGERY! Ren delivers suitcase. It explodes a building! And Ren returns the other to Scathe! And is now a Jonin woot. Fal and Cooper also go up in rank and Cooper gets a chart o' phallics which means he can be a record keeper. Scathe reluctantly tells Ren about Fal's Annanuki. Ren informs the Scraver's about the lost temple. Illiad also divulges information on the planet, there was dispute over who owned the planet so now Illiad does. And Ren will take a crew back there to properly explore and document it. Illiad is reknighted and now a duke. Illiad Jorge Concherto Montezuma Arena Decados. Duke. Fal is taken into the Hawkwood house because they believe her to be the actual daughter and she runs with it. And because Fal is an npc now, she gets good at flying. And they all had sex forever. The end.

OP: Nautilus - Teila took the human puppy. Presumably to kill it.

"This is your bill." Ahaha! Dark secrete. "I'll wash all your plates before you close or pay you double my bill!" They're kuroseki plates! "You're my only friend, bit of string." "Wh.. why do I have to tell Teila? You're the captain!" Abigail has jakis dump the chairs of the guys who pinch her butt. Abba sees this happen. A chicken does a bellydance in the corner. Abba tricks people into thinking they're kicking each other and then phases through the floor screaming all the way. "I know you pushed my chair and I'll find out how." "Okay. Would you like another refill?" "Yes." James skull fucks a candle and then humps the goldfish. Abba steals a half eaten baked potato with a dead man attached to it halfway through the table and a handful of salad. Captain Butterpants, meet the pickpocket Butterfingers. "Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Yay!" "Play's in two days. Jigen is gone. Benigan is going to learn his lines, just in case." "But Teila talked to him on her magic paintbrush phone and he seemed fine." "I'd rather be an arsonist than suck infront of Admiral Akainu." *paintbrush snap* "Welp. I'll be in my panic room." "I'm not going to kill you because then we'd be down two actors." Abba phases into a jaki and everything tastes of cloud and pink. He touches another guy's leg and is suddenly untabled and the center of attention! He resists being grabbed and phases through the floor. However, the hand follows him! Abigail takes his opportunity to flee! Abba grabs meet and a main with grey hair and a white coat stares at him. "Whatcha got there?" "...nooooothiiiiing." "I didn't want the meat to get lonely." Abba walks down the stairs behind the couch. Running through crowd not good plan. Abigail is trampled. Abba runs into walls! Abgail goes back to serving drinks. Abba runs into Ash who directs his pursuers elsewhere. It's a barrel of sea water! It's how Abba bathes. "Eww this tastes like little boy." Granpa! Uncle Joey! Big sis! Rapin' Bob! "Puppy!" You're a thing yay! Teila rolls her eyes and drags the boy below deck, after a panicked phase. "I'm the company seamstress slash actress slash..." "Keep your nose clean." *flips through a clipboard of wanted posters* "Ah haha okay." "I don't know I have a wanted poster." "Except for when Ash told us we all have one." Look at that kitty go! "What does he think this is? A daycare?! Don't touch anything or he'll eat you." "Kitty!" Abba rides Naut sideways. "Teila took the human puppy. Presumably to kill it." Vince feeds him. "No our cook made it. Welcome to the ingredient pantry." "Just because I do these things out of necessity, it doesn't mean I kill every one I meet." "That's how we first met." Abigail and Abba are now food friends. "Your bag is empty." "Well I don't expect you to see it." Feast is had. The play is tomorrow. Jigen has still not returned. Abigail is going to audition for the pirate king. Ash tries to teach Abigail to stage fight and loses. Abigail kills Ash and we use Teila and Vince to Weekend at Bernies Ash sauntering like a marionette. Abba is now in the pirate chorus and he sings like a choir boy and dances like a queen. Watercolor: practice makes perfect.

OP: Nautilus - Montagery: We'll cross that bridge when we burn it to the ground.

Jerald has been unconscious because he bit a part of the boat and a cat promptly mauled him. "Mornin' y'all." "Holy crap who are you?" Jigen explains to Jerald what's going down. The crew rehearses under the watchful eye of Teila. Oh dammit Jerald's ad-libbing again! God why! Or whatever I worship! Ash greets Melody and her guards. Ash grabbed Abigail's script by mistake! Melody is a princess, not a pirate! Haha! 9_9 VonTrap it! Wench yar! Melody sends the play down the tangent to hell. Jawesome. Boneriffic. Melody has rounds and will be back. Teila makes revisions from her notes. Abigail begins on costumes. Jakis assault everyone with tape measures. Jigen teaches Ash to sword fight for the fight scene. Montage! Basically over the next couple days you get hit with a mop. A lot. Hot cross bun skull flag is made! Teila and Cody salvage paddles and broken life rafts and human remains. Abigail finishes costumes! They are awesome! She turns pirate garb into pirate garb! Authentic! It's an amalgamation of all the marine captains I've seen. "An evening dress?" Most people have learned their lines. Jerald is now being given puns as a comic relief character. Teila makes a tiny boat and props. "You'll be dead right now. Love the Admiral." The three sweeping mountains of Wara come into view. Teila spots a small black ship with red curtain sails. Teila talks in a higher pitched voice. "If those of us who can swim go over there, we could kill them all. The ship would pull in empty. No one would know." We're surrounded by marines. NEVER FORGET. Teila and Cody swim off to the actor ship. "I'm Teila, this is Cody, and this is getting our asses kicked." Cody punches a hole in the ship. "This is good! I can cripple the ship!" The ship starts veering in a circle and sinking. Teila camouflaged grapples a guy and paralyzes him, Cody rips the other guy's head off. Brute force and stealth team go! Teila paralyzes and Cody drags them into the boat to drown. It's the Bonnie and Clyde of the merworld. The actors drown in the most horrible way. Teila apologizes. Cody eats one of them. It was like a date! No time for love, Doctah Jones! Ash docks gracefully. We have a lot of attention as now the only non-marine ship. Cody will chill underwater and return aboard at night. Teila climbs up and below deck, dries her hair, and puts on clothing. Ash says our dock fees will be comped. We'll cross that bridge when we burn it to the ground. "That sunk quickly." "Yeah.. heheh." o_O "What if the survivors come up?" "There won't be any survivors." Vince is mildly horrified. "Also, I got some new props." Vince is more horrified. "No, real props. Acting props." Marine castle! Today's word is: shhhh. Everyone back in. We're wearing masks to promote the show! Oh wait, our costumes are pirates. Let's wear our masks and nothing else oh wait. Hot Cross Players! Come see the show! Ash and Jerald are gonna go find out when and where the show is. Out of the frying pan... The marine base is enormously huge! A man sitting is the same height as everyone standing. Nancy handles the ball. The Spiral Players? No, they said they couldn't make it. The Princess and the Bear. It's a metaphor for the life we have to bear. Aaaaaah. The day after tomorrow will be a good day! The head count is roughly 645. Yay. Admiral Akainu. Captain Hotpants versus Captain Butterpants! This has always worked in butter's favor! Now all we need is a lobster zoan type! Ash goes to a BOOK shop and asks stupid questions. Let's take the guided tour of the marine headquarters! No! It'll take a week for the logpost to set. And Ash backflips out a window, Jerald closing the door behind him. Teila has a netbook! Vince and Benigan will go with Jigen to find Nina to repair his dial. "I'm going to find a local eatery! Oh wait, I have no money. Oh wait, I've never cared!" Ye Olde Pubb and Grille. It's filled with white coats. House specialty at the bar. She's wearing her horrible costume! A little jaki hand pops out of her cleavage and knocks hands away. It's a booby trap! Cock vacuum. Jigen goes to the BOOK store. They're having a sale on fiction. Nina lives in the next town, it's a three hour walk. "Hey little lady. I like your outfit. I'd like to put my cock in you. Thanks, Jigen." Two girls one devil fruit. Jigen catches on fire. He's probably thinking she has no gag reflex. Thanks, Jerald! I'm Jigen, this is Jerald, and this is spontaneously catching on fire. The fertile fertile fruit. "There's so much to do. Washing my hair before the play. Ooooh." Ash returns to the ship. Watercolor: Abigail being hit on in a bar, Jigen wandering to the next town, Ash, Teila, and Jerald on the ship, Vince and Benigan wandering about, Cody napping on the bottom of the ocean.

Fading Suns - GREEN SPACEY!

Spombies. It is assumed that Ness overdosed on opium and his dead body was left behind. "Endurance plus vigor." "To kill him with my penis?" Illiad overdoses on opium! Ren and Fall snoop in the house, but not together. Ren finds a floor! And overdoses on second hand opium! Fal finds a secret passageway behind a bookcase. "I'm in a house! It's safe!" Corridor with peep holes. In everyone's room on the ship there's a painting of a stick figure that says "Don't look at me!" and has peephole eyes the size of tennisballs. Stairs. SAFE HOUSE DOWN! Heavy doodie door. It's opened a crack, yes I said crack. Fal finds the light switch. It kills you! Chains and paddles. It's a sex room! Safe house safe house! Murderous sex room! Band coffin! Illiad is high as a kite. Ness was too, but now he's quiet. One of the paintings winks. Illiad winks back and starts to take his clothes off. "And that's when my puppy died. We had dreams, Spacey I and I." Oh Spaceys I through V. Various entertainments are found. "I have one of these in my house!" It's a blank spot of wall. Illiad acquires assless leather chaps! Dun nun nun na! And a single belt as a shirt and a ballgag for a necklace. Ren finds the house to be too quiet, but believes everyone to be accounted for. A child's voice says "Come play with us". Ren assumes the two high psychics to be fucking with him and goes into stealth mode. "Is the fur coat Illiad? Then I'm going to move on." Ren taps on the back of the closet and finds it to be hollow, but hears running in the hallway. "SOS?" And they find each other. "Ren! Look at my necklace! And my shirt!" "Wear that always." "But not on friday. We're friends!" So he wasn't screwing with me, just being high. So who was in the hall- Sex room? The iron maiden is a trick! Ren tries to pocket a golden penis, but it's heavy! "We could make a fortune on the calendars." "Hmm.. we'll need to talk to Ao." Ren goes to the tournament at the casino in a low cut slinky dress. Illiad still in his chaps. It's a black tie affair. "Give the man a tie." He's dressed to the nines, but only one of them. One Scraver, one Hazat, one Reeve, and two Charioteers, two are women and one is Ren. It gets down to Charioteer Jayne and Ren and Ren wins yay! Ren takes Fal and Illiad out because she has money now. "Why's it green?" "Decados?" "But you named it the Black Mantis." "Oh. But I like green." "Then name it the Green Mantis." "But mantises are green. That's not special." "Then.. name it after another animal. Green Spacey." And it's done. Ren's given one suitcase red, one not, with an envelope to contact them based on response. Circus guy? "What if we had him put on a show for us?" "I don't want a circus." "I do. Now that you've brought it up." Fal takes off not into a sun! Hurray! The planet zips away. "Wow. This was a nice purchase." "It was. I'm glad I own Spacey." XD "I think this was a joke. There's a bin of prosthetic arms." "This is the lamest joke ever. Now I'm armed." "No, that was the lamest joke ever." "Where did you.. what is that?" "We'll talk about it later. We have guests right now!" The larger animals require land. We will have our show. Fal has My Little Ponies instead of dinosaurs. One is named Twinklestar. "I'm very happy you got me the kid's meal, sir." "I will call him and inform him that the performance is naked friday." "I think they can swing that." "Alright. Click." "Why did you say click?"

OP: Nautilus - The audience can't see the actors before the wedding!

I'm wearing a big skirt dress thing. I'm wearing the pants stuff and the jacketmabob. Melody in fancy dress with rope on her arms, Nicholai in wife beater and torn jeans and a sword, Dover in metal face plate with rows of six shooters and a cloak, three other guys in marine suits and finest red shirts, one particularly large. I'll take a poison sac with a side of bone. Teila is standing there as if to say I am a human in a dress. Watch me human. "Welcome to our boat! ... Line?" Ash is charming, surprisingly so is Cody! Teila and Vince awkwardly wave. Benigan "Are those the ones we hate?" Roll my.. bluff? No, stamina. You've already been stabbed. "We hate pirates. Please forgive our writer. He's prone to flights of fancy." Teila pout. If we're gonna die, let's at least be drunk enough to not know what happened! Ash separates the captains so if they can't whisper about killing the pirates. One jaki with a bow is meant for Melody. "I need the name of a random island." "I'd like to use a lifeline and phone a friend?" We came from Shadonis. Weird jellyfish. We didn't know Drake used to be a pirate! Awkward Teila is awkward. She is young and recently trained on Shadonis. Nicholai the Sword Guy. Nick Nick Nick! He trained with Hawk Eyes Mihawk, the best swordsman on the Grand Line. Jigen is wearing a costume! He believes us! He's our resident protector. He's like an alarm system. We just set the code. Abigail goes Food Network on us. Everyone has been fooded. Get a tshirt launcher and a whole chicken. Everyone etiquettes pretty well, cept Vince who chokes. When eating sends you to your panic room, you may have a problem. Abigail implies that we might be requiting more actors and Melody tricks Ash into making gentleman a flaw. Melody squishes a jaki's face into its body. She wants to act and has lots of money! Oh... boy. It'll take 5 days to get to Wara. The stagehands have stage fright. Actor's Code! The audience can't see the actors before the wedding! Ash takes Vince to the deck and he promptly vomits. Melody flirts with Jigen until he lets her in the play. Teila nearly hyperventilates. Captain Dover. Is his name Ben? And everyone sets their character sheets on fire. Let's talk about guns! We're gay weapon buddies now! Vegapunk made them for him. Breaker fruit. "I've never seen a fruit inside an object before." That's 'cause you're gay now. The homosexual agenda is to get everyone to make innuendos! I knew Kristy was a spy! "Once pirates thought the fake gold we had was real! It was really funny when they stole it." What she's not telling you is that it was her. Use the pirate point! It's like when the object you're buying has a coupon right on the front! They haven't looked at this week's wanted posters. It's time for desert! Awkward Cody is awkward. "C'mon Commodore! All the cool pirates are doing.. I mean all the cool actors and marines are doing it!" Abigail makes Mind Erasers! Benigan drunkenly rambles about his island. *deep breath*.... pudding! High society pudding. Mousse. Dover's dad was a marine who had a pirate rip his lower jaw off with a hook. "You can't read what people are saying, I mean thinking, 'cause of intimidation." "It's hard to read what people are saying too, 'cause it's audio." Misthaven. Really? Teila thinks maybe she can tell the boat to turn into a tiger and kill us all and then the boat will drown, ending all of us in one blow. Ash was raised by Old Man Murry who was an animal caretaker. For cows. Abigail "What's a blue?" "How did you end up on an acting crew?" "It was my calling." Teila is from the island of Lostoys. She road a ship to Shadonis and learned to work on boats there. She did human things there and lived in a house with other humans and certainly doesn't talk to fish or have tentacles. So interesting. Jigen's from a backwaters island. He learned he was gay when he wouldn't suckle from his mother's breast and only his father's. Melody will be back tomorrow to watch us rehearse. Vince nervously drinks coffee. Teila faceplants. Is it a faux pas to cast the marine captain as a pirate. "We're actoors!" Melody would snap Jigen right in two. Good day bad day. When's the banquette? "We'll have to kill them." "If we kill one of them do you think the rest of them would act for us?" "I like your optimism." "What if they're ahead of us?" "We just gotta pray they're not!" Watercolor: TO HOPE!

OP: Nautilus - Captain Butterpants and the Magical Sack

"Sail like you've never sailed before! No wait. Sail like you've sailed for years and you're really good at it!" "I'd like to see what "sailing like fuck" looks like." "You're about to witness it!" The marines hoist up alternating red and blue flags and a guy in the crow's nest shouting whoooowhoo. Hot Cross Pirates. Captain Butterpants, Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemimah, and Land o' Lakes. "We lost another cannon over the side. How does this keep happening? On an unrelated note, we found a sunken ship! And it had a giant cannon on board that only needs minor repair!" The marines pass us as though we're standing still. The giant fish fly up on the marine deck cut long way from head to tail. Guy climbs the outside of the boat with a sword and glares. Casually sailing! We're shma away. Vince has made a thing and he doesn't think it will fix the paralysis. It's atomic red. Ash is going to take one for the team. Good news! It's a suppository! You're really gonna want to touch your toes for this one. The rest boiled off in the oven. It locks in the juices! He dry heaves and it burns. The frogs are here and they've brought their horns. It's time to start the play. You remember the words! He runs to the bow of the ship on the rail and sings loudly. Abigail fails to stop him. Your female lead has arrived! Begin the dance number! Swinging Abigail over the rail. "None of that!" Jigen grabs Abigail from him. The villain doth approach! But first you must deliver your speech in italian! He draws his air sword. The marines have our undivided attention. Abigail summons Big Tony. Ash demands Jigen draw his weapon. A mop. Now the well choreographed fight scene! Cody is in the fetal position about to wet himself. The spotlight was in his eyes and he's bopped. Teila ties off the wheel and goes to put on a skirt. Tony is a stagehand that has wandered on stage! Improv that he's the villain's henchmen. He grabs him thusly! Ash removes his captain's cape with a flourish. Roll your christ. He has a quick flash of himself on a boat in his underwear, but it fades. Vince suddenly "When did the marines get here?!" Clad only in his underoos, Captain Butterpants saves the play! Jigen finally knocks him out. "Tada!" A big wave and the sword guy lands on deck in front of Jigen. Sword guys shakes Ash. "Am I seeing the world for what it is?" "Well the sun is purple, but you're on a boat." This is our floor show. We're putting on a show at the marine banquet. Isn't that right, Captain! There! Take it! Run with it! "We have to work on the set design. C'mon." Jigen drags Teila below deck. "What's the name of your group?" "Hot Cross Players!" Make it real! I will now follow you to the ends of the earth. Captain Nicholai Alister will give us an escort. Cody can't breathe. "He's Big Tony. He comes from the magical land that lives in my sack." "Does she drown?" "We haven't tried." "What? I wasn't paying attention." IRON CHEF! "We were going to get away!" "We don't know that." "We were going to get away!" Vince turns into a pile of rope. We explain to Benigan and he goes from excited to horrified. And now we're making dinner for them. "I don't have any dress clothes." "I don't have legs!" "This is a really good idea you guys. I feel really good about this." "For the love of god, put on some pants." Bell's gonna write us a screen play about ponies! Iron Chef complete! The secret ingredient was GOD. The rope pile has scrunched itself into a knot. "Vince, I need you to pull yourself together." Aaaaaah! Suddenly Jigen and Teila fall overboard and die. Which is really impressive for Teila. She hit a rock. Ash explains to Vince. "That's fantastic. I'm just gonna go now." One leg over the side. "Vince, I want to remind you that you can't swim now." "I know! Well now I have options now!" Vince makes a noose. A rowboat with two marines and a very attractive woman in black with a huge bag. Ash is a gentleman! Nope, he's Captain Butterpants! He slides right in. DX Melody. She brought us some food. We're robbing the military, one kitchen at a time! Melody is distracted by the jakis. Abigail is going to figure out how to make this fish! It's all bones and poison sacs! She leaves with a jaki. Ash shows her around. We've been together 4 months. The admiral might be there! "Why do actors need canons?" "Percussion." Teila combines several stories into one. "How will we make a sun?" "There's paint... I have paint." Cake and Cody show up outside the kitchen door. "Cake! Belt!" Cody has thumbs. Ash comes to check on the playwrights. Teila sits on the floor surrounded by books, covered in ink, reading things to Benigan and Bell. "So I've got some worrying news." "Get out." "Let me put this into perspective for you. There are three of them in the world. In the wooooorld." "How's the play?" "You're gonna sing a song about how dumb and stupid the hero is!" Abigail will loan Teila some dress clothes. Ash tries to get Cody to clean up. "That's your fault, Skinny." A little bit more of pants. Watercolor: Everyone on deck dressed as nicely as they can waiting for the rowboat filled with marines.

A marine saves a princess from a bear and then pirates steal the princess and there's a sword fight, but the marine saved her and sails away into the sky to neverland and the pirates fly too close to the sun.

Fading Suns - Salutey.

The ship needs a name to be registered. "Hey look guys, it's the Green Spacey! Fuck those Decados." Black Mantis. Curse you, Aquaman! Supplies. Zeke only needs 40% of his rations. Radar sensors. "We can either start whoring on the side of the road, which I'm not entirely opposed to depending on what they look like, or pick up some legitimate jobs." "We still have one." "What? Jobs or whores?" "Meet us at the Chick-fil-a in the mall food court. We're going to the Scraver's Guild." Space chicken... maybe not. WoD. Tomorrow is made in China. Fal stays behind to handle the ship. Cooper goes to the Eskatonic church. Want to touch me? Pray you sacrilegious sack of crap! And now he's worse looking. Ren and Illiad eat Ness's pickle. "I am positive there is a map in that Victoria's Secret!" There's a sewer in the food court! "Help." Billy will stab you for your grapefruit. Ren uses his morph suit to make a rope for Illiad to climb up. "Try meditating now, you son of a bitch!" Don't forget the novelty horn! Scraver's guild in the back room of a casino. There is a mountain of molten spoon gold at the bottom of the acid lake. I leave it to my people. The security guards have barcodes on their foreheads. Ren doesn't care! The scravers have a hand under the table nooooo. Jonin Reed. Box to Reeves on Serverus. (1200fb) Tournament tonight 2k buy in. Ren wins 90fb in a few hands with the scravers. Illiad wins a lot by cheating. Ness wins 2. Math were declared. Fal finds Illiad. Is there a bar at this casino? That's a silly question! Is my hand good? Roll perception! Damn, they put a sewer right under this table! "Do you know who you're talking to? Illiad Jorge Concherto Montezuma Decados. Count." Cooper prays for some clearasil. To the Charioteers guild hall. Commander Cruise needs a ride. "A literal circus or a figurative circus?" For a wedding? Well he's a Decados! For a birthday on Cadavus for Baronet Rasputin's 12th birthday. Illiad's interested! And now he's not. And now he is! But he's not again. Salutey. Zeke finds us some housing! In a Decados manor. Cooper has a fragile crate for Demelore(sp) and a box of holy relic bones he isn't telling anyone about. There's an opium den. Illiad and Ness are gonna be occupied for a little while.